Dear MeiGui: Run! She's got a board with a nail in it!

Originally published in The China Post, 10/05/08


Dear MeiGui;

     How does a Western man handle an abusive girlfriend?

     Why do I ask this question?  Let me tell you why.  I am a very unfortunate 40-something-year-old divorced Taiwan man with a very bitter story.

     Several years ago, I met with a pretty, cute, sweet and sexy KTV girl in the ChungShan District.  She was so wonderful!  I immediately invited her to live in my house.

     When our relationship started, every day she cooked for my children and I.  Furthermore, she took very good care of my mother.  However, as soon as she registered her identification at my house, she started to change.  This previously sweet angel turned evil.  She started to abuse not only me but also my family.

     In these last few years, she threw bricks off the roof of my building to destroy my car; she smashed my computers and KTV singing machine; she even stole my money to play mahjong -- and what thing I really cannot believe -- every day she is rude to my mother.

     A few nights ago, she took a board with a nail in it and chased me all around our community.  Finally, several drunkard taxi drivers rescued me.  To subdue this mad woman required all their strength and an empty Kaoliang bottle.

     This crazy has ruined my house, my car, my things and my good name.  What can I do?

-- Cannot bear it


Dear Cannot bear it;

     What would a Western man do in this situation?  I have no idea.  Probably press charges. 

     You are a cautionary tale for all those young Western guys who think Asian girls are submissive. 

     Please start your own self-help organization and not only profit financially from this disaster, but save an entire generation of deluded Western males from certain doom.

-- “Run!  [She’s] got a board with a nail in it!”  Kodos from The Simpson’s


Dear MeiGui;

     My buddies tell me the best way to find a local girlfriend in Taiwan is to date your co-teachers.  This just doesn’t work for me.

     I am a young American dude who likes to drink and party, but my co-teachers are all tea-tottlers who hate going to pubs and clubs. 

    Recently, I met a pretty, cute, sweet and sexy KTV girl in the LinShen North Road district.  She wows me!  She likes to drink and party all night long.  It’s incredible. 

     The problem is that although I think I’ve met my soul mate, my co-teachers all say KTV girls are “bad girls”.

What should I do?

-- Party Dude


Dear Party Dude;

     Heed the cautionary tale above and be afraid – very afraid.

-- Run for your life, MeiGui